my nightstand.

on the right column of this little blog page, i have a feature that lists the books that jason and i are currently reading. jason's nightstand is filled, with like, a million books. (and yes, he is reading them all.)

my nightstand, on the other hand, holds 3 books right now - figuratively.

since i just finished "call me hope," i decided i would finally finish the last one-third of "the shack," which i have been reading since sometime in the fall! it's a really great book, and i really was enjoying it, i simply got too busy with school and mommyhood to finish it. so... i was really excited to snuggle in bed with the last few chapters of this story... and i can't find it! i think the last time i saw it was when we went to visit the reyes family in san antonio. that was in november. i've looked everywhere. but no "shack." (naomi, is it at your house?)

and since i couldn't find "the shack," but was in such a reading mood, i picked up a book i've been wanting to read for awhile: "change of heart" by jodi picoult. she is my favorite author right now. such a great story teller, and all of her books make me think. i can tell this one is already going to be tough (emotionally) for me to read. it's about a woman whose husband and daughter was killed by their contractor while she was pregnant with her 2nd daughter, claire. the man is now on deathrow, and claire ends up having some problem with her heart and needs a transplant. as payment for what he has done, the killer wants to give his heart to the little girl when he is executed. apparently, while he is in prison, he begins performing some sort of miracles... and people start calling him a messiah or savior. sounds kinda "green mile"-ish. i don't know... you have to read a jodi picoult novel. then you won't even second guess this plot-line! i've read "my sister's keeper" and "the tenth circle" so far. both are amazing!

the other book on my nightstand is "your money or your life" by joe dominguez & vicki robin. i am participating in a "book club" called "sound mind. sound mom." we will be reading 6 books over the next 12 months. the topics include finances, parenting, relationships, keeping a clean/organized home, living green, etc. the first topic is getting control of your finances. i think jason and i are going to read this together. i've read the prologue so far, and i'm excited. it's not necessarily a book i 'won't be able to put down,' but i have until march to read it. i hope this is something i stick with all year, and don't just get the first book, not finish it, and do away with the whole idea all together. so ask me in march. :)

so, when i say there are 3 books on my nightstand, that's just the one on my blog. :) there would be 3, except that "the shack" is lost... so it can't be on my nightstand... but it's still on my mind to be read. there are, however, 2 books sitting on my actual nightstand right now. i put my glasses on them last night, when i was ready-for-bed enough to stop reading. :)

i know, i know. this blog was riveting. i know you're all just sitting on the edge of your seats until my next rant about the books i'm reading.

but now you can hold me accountable to finish what i've started. yes, that was my point in writing this all along...

call me hope.

i have decided to "review" books here after i've read them... and this is the first installment! :)

i read "call me hope" on friday... that's right - in one day. i couldn't put it down. donna lent it to me. a sweet little book that was even signed by the author, gretchen olson. "wishing you hope!" was inscribed on the inside of the cover. i felt like she was speaking straight to me... throughout the entire book.

this novel was actually written for young adults, but it is very well written and an incredible story. it centers around an 11-year-old girl, hope marie elliott, and her struggle to feel loved and accepted by her verbally abusive mother.

this story explores the relationship between mother and daughter, and the challenges that come with it. it explores the confusion and pain of a little girl fighting for her mother's love, and believing that she can't do anything 'good enough' to win that love. it explores a mother's undying love for her child, even when she is so emotionally battered, herself, that she is unable to show it in the most healthy of ways.

hope finds refuge in secret places she creates for herself... drawing inspiration from anne frank's "diary" and the little boy from "it's a beautiful life." their courage and survival skills spurs her on to become not just "another victim."

i loved this book. it was sweet and powerful all at the same time, and it really hit home for me. i was reminded of several struggles from my past, and reminded of the importance of pursuing the ability to love others fully - both as a daughter and as a mother.

this simple story gave me a new outlook on the challenges that my mother faced as i was growing up, and opened my eyes to how easy it could be for me to face the same challenges with my own daughter.

this story allowed me to see beyond my own hurts, and realize that my story's outcome is my "choice." i can choose not to be a victim...

this story gave me hope.